Weekend Fun!

The title for this one was almost something like, “Dealing with loss and punching it in the fucking face”, but I’m a little classier than that so new title. There are many types of loss in the world, and each one has its own mourning and grieving process. That doesn’t mean any loss is easy to deal with because personally I wish I could just snap my fingers and blank out anytime I’ve had to go through this. I’ve only suffered one loss from death, all others have consisted of people packing their bags and moving as far as humanly possible.  This, when you’re a gamer recluse, is still a heavy loss to endure when you’re closest friends are few.

As many people know, the four stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance. You can go through these stages multiple times and in any random order your body feels like. It could show up many different times in many different ways, you never know with grief. That’s the best part, it’s completely randomized and you never know which straw you’re going to draw.

Anyway, my best friend moved out of state today. Of all places she’s going to Arkansas. That’s quite a ways from where I live, 2300 miles or something like that. So, as I helped her pack her car up the other day and watch her get in and drive off with a smug-little-grin-and-wave, I couldn’t help but feel a bit in shock. I didn’t really deny it, that process went through my mind back in September when she told me about it. I didn’t really feel angry either, more envious of the adventure she’s embarking on and ‘how dare she leave me behind’. Ok so maybe a little anger, but it was short lived. Whereas most people don’t have time to adjust to the thought of losing a loved one, I had many months to try and prepare myself.

Still, watching her go was a hard thing to do. We listened to our favorite music, went to our favorite restaurant, and even drank a bit of our favorite alcohol to prepare for her going. Ok and it’s easy to say she’s not gone forever she’s still around. You can talk and Skype so it’s not really a loss. It is though. When I can’t drive down the street to pull her out of bed for some stupid reason, or when we can’t meet for dinner just to order dessert and laugh at stupid things, it’s a loss. It’s a loss of the physical part of the friendship and kind of leaves one feeling sad. Sure, I won’t deny it will be nice texting and talking still, but that’s all it will be for a while.

If you’ve never had a best friend you can go buy crappy milkshakes with and watch bad anime all night long, you need one.