I Am A Writer

I am a writer
I write not because I want to but because I have to
I write because words live inside of me
I write for the fragmented words and thoughts inside of me that can't find a way out
I write to feel, to experience life
I write because I have no other way to express who I am or what is wrong in this world
I write for all the adventures I want to have and the places I will one day see
I write a piece of my soul into each story, into each poem because it's the only source of expression I have to move those who feel they have no voice
I write to inspire
I write to let people know how much I love them, or dislike them, whether they know its them or not
I write not because I've been told to but because it is what I know
I am a writer because it is my calling to be one
I am a writer because that's just what I am

Today I began doubting my talent, my skill. I've been writing since I was able to. Words, literature, stories; they were all expressions of art and something I wanted to master. Writing and reading has been involved in my life as long as I can remember. My earliest memories involve reading with my parents, or reading by flashlight under the sheets. I even tried to use a Gameboy once, let me tell you it didn't work.

Every so often, I get writer's shame. I feel like nothing I do is great or good. I make it seem as if the words on the paper don't matter even when I bare my soul to the world. People always tell me, "you are your worst critic" and it's true. Some days, I adore the way the pen feels in my hand and other times it's a curse. I will sometimes go weeks without writing a single word and those are the weeks I feel bad. Those are the weeks I wished I didn't care, so I could go back to doing what I love. Doing what makes me feel whole and right.

I believe every writer goes through periods of inadequacy. After all, we're the ones behind the art. It's a burden sometimes to feel things strongly, to be so passionate about a form of art that can be used to move people. Yea, not everyone is going to like your work but you need to move on. Learn to be a humble writer and receive your due criticism with a smile and 'thank you'. Everyone will watch your words, everyone will have something to say about them.

For me, I grow daily. I learn how to be better, to put things into sentences that connect with the heart and make sense. Writing isn't isn't a job or homework but it's a lesson.