GISHWHES 2016

Remember those days when you were young, carefree, and wild? How about those days you just did something because it sounded fun or different? People don't like to be different. They want to be socially accepted and loved. I spent so much of my life being "normal", or trying to be anyway. I was the quiet girl, the closed off one that pretended life was easy and boring. I didn't step out into the weird zone, I stayed complacent. I hated who I was and what I'd become. Being so afraid of life that you aren't living, isn't life. That's just surviving, I don't want to be a survivor, I want to be a liver. I want to be ALIVE! So I found a hunt, GISHWHES. The Greatest International Scavenger Hunt The World Has Ever Seen. That's right, GISHWHES. I found it; I found home, freedom, and life. I was alive again.

Because of GISHHES I tried to sell air. That's right, this picture ^, is me in front of a stand made entirely of bottles and a white blanket. I'm "selling" air for a penny with a pretty acrylic painted board. I'm wearing a shirt that tells the world I don't care what they think, I'm finally, for once in my life, not normal. I began enjoying life, taking things to the max, and finding that confidence I'd lost through years of telling myself, "I'm not good enough."

 Of course, I can't attribute all of this success to GISHWHES. I started counseling, classes, and being "real" with my family. I took all these little, necessary steps that kept advancing the thought of "I'm good enough", "I'm ok", "I'm loved" and the most important one, "I can love and should love." I found new heroes, began thinking positively, and became the best person I could be. My life motto was no longer "go unnoticed and keep your head down", no, it had become "make your heroes your rivals". I wanted to do that! I wanted to meet my heroes, I wanted to show them we were on equal grounds because I too could influence people. GISHWHES, Misha Collins, Confidence, I began taking life by the horns and doing things I never thought possible.

I think my favorite item in GISHWHES 2016 was dressing up as a rain cloud. I have a 1:45 second video of me walking around dressed like this (see below) and making lightning and thunder sounds. I apologize, lightning doesn't make a sound just thunder. I was walking around a crowded park on a beautiful day and I was shaking. I was terrified because this box I had confined myself to was telling me "this is dumb. you look like an idiot. why? why? why?" Do you know why I did it? Because I was telling myself I was dumb. I know I'm not. I just felt it. When I started walking around, shaking my raindrops, and making sounds people began smiling, laughing, but they weren't mean. One woman even stopped jogging to come up and shake me hand. I felt revitalized. I felt reborn as a whole new person.

So I guess what I'm saying is be you. Do what you want and find the inner confident person inside you. And if you need help, get it! There's nothing wrong with finding support, finding a friend. Everyone needs them. Me? I have a group if fourteen ladies all around the world. We've been together for a whole year, doing crazy stunts and just living life. We skype, we talk, we chat, we make art. I couldn't ask for a better team. If you need a friend, need someone to call, come to me. I understand loneliness, I understand anxiety. It's ok because you're not alone, you're never alone.

 

Just look. I went from the girl above, to the owl suit wearing chick you see now. I found my place, I found joy, I found peace. I found it through a scavenger hunt that drives me crazy but makes me feel like I have a purpose. I found a journey to keep me alive and strong. What more can I ask for? My goal now is to find people who are like past me. I will find you and I will show you how great the world is. How? I don't know yet, but I suppose writing is always a start.

Remember, it's more fun to be yourself than it is to be someone else. Keep fighting and try to find the bright side.